☕️ Daily Rituals: Protect Your Flame 🔥
Read part one here first:
“Protect your flame—that’s something I learned from my professor, Karim Nader, in 2006. You need to find that little flame inside you and build around it, even barricade it in the beginning, so that eventually you can have a forest fire.”
—Michael Karsouny, Pivot podcast #220
In the previous post, I explored two Sliding Doors scenarios for how my morning routines might be interpreted by an outside observer, noting the potential for survivorship bias to recolor quirks as success methods based on external outcomes, such as the simplified, binary hypothetical of a next book as either bestseller or flop.
As so often happens after publishing, when I let the topic simmer further in my mind, new curiosities bubble toward the surface. A more apt metaphor: it’s more like a tiny splinter that starts to itch, letting me know that something is still stuck inside the topic, nagging to be excavated.
In this case, the splinter is thus (which you, my brilliant Dohnuts, probably already inferred while reading part one): it doesn’t matter what the results of any future project are.
They have no bearing on how I structure my day, other than for continual growth and thriving for the highest good. This is the strange comedy of reading about others’ routines, like fitness influencer Ashton Hall’s much-memed (and mocked) minute-by-minute breakdown that begins each day at 3:55 a.m:
To this day, I still feel a little guilty about the morning routines I shared in 2017 (later included in their book) at a time when I lived alone, in my twenties, and had so few responsibilities. What about those with pets and/or young kids at home, whose schedules aren’t entirely their own?
I’m still flabbergasted by all that parents juggle, including those who are also caretaking for their elders during the sandwich years. I chuckled in recognition when a neighbor and now dear friend (thanks to the dogs) sent me this:
The best routines are idiosyncratic and bespoke, custom-built for you. Or shall I say, for me. They are in service of protecting (y)our flame: our energy, our essence, our best selves, and our best work. So why are we so fascinated by other people’s routines? I suppose it’s why any self-help advice works: we crave climbing just one step, tweak, or hack closer to where we are trying to go.
The thing is, sometimes this mimetic learning works! Right after I stayed with my friend , I purchased a ten-pound weighted vest (for improving bone density during daily walks) and retainer cleanser tablets. Random, I know, but they are both now part of my regular routine, and I’m so grateful that she did the research first. That’s five heavy vests I didn’t have to buy and awkwardly return until finding just the right one!
Our creative flame is a gift. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of them, how others judge them, or what career metrics result (or not). What matters is that they effectively nurture and protect that precious creative flame.
Mine demands deep quiet, focus, faith, and fitness—at a minimum. On a day like today, when I wake up overwhelmed by anxiety after worrying in my dreams about a friend I haven’t heard from in a while, I start soothing myself with my personalized morning stack before taking small steps toward resolution.
So let’s conclude our Sliding Doors exercise for Daily Rituals: Rolling in Doh1 with a third scenario, as told from the inside out rather than the outside gazing in . . .
📊 The book sales are irrelevant
Blake wakes up without an alarm clock because she knows that what her body needs most is sleep. It’s hard enough to get a full, uninterrupted night when you have someone else in the bed, or your furry friend climbing up and down the stairs with his cute paws and nails scraping the floor, followed by swiping the terrace door so he can sleep en plein air. Even at three a.m.
She reads for at least two hours in the dark, guilt-free, because reading makes her feel most alive—that has been true since childhood. It’s what nurtures and soothes her, what fires synapses across her mind, what inspires her and sparks new ideas. Reading is what expands her vocabulary (and hopefully, eventually, her own writing skills). Reading prepares her for the day. Reading is oxygen. Without it, there is no flame.
Blake then takes her dog Ryder out for his morning walk. At first, she saw this as an interruption, an obligation, regretfully, sometimes even a burden. It “took away” from her computer time. For what? Endless emails and meetings? She eventually straightened herself out, realizing that time outdoors, in nature, greeting neighbors and making new friends because of her angel-in-fur-coat, is always a gift. It feeds her spirit to sit with him in the grass, watching him pant and smile.
It might have taken months, but finally she realized these outings are a magnificent privilege; in fact, the highlight of her day, especially because, at some unknown point, her heart will shatter at no longer needing to make them.2
❤️
I’d love to hear from you . . .
📚 This is only my hypothetical book title, based on ’s wonderful pair, Daily Rituals and Daily Rituals: Women at Work.
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