👾 I'm an alien, part two
“Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”
—Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada
There’s something I have always wondered about impostor syndrome: Aren’t there times when you are so out of your element that you are, in fact, an impostor? I’m not trying to be self-deprecating here; I’m genuinely curious. A compilation of the cringiest American Idol auditions comes to mind . . . 2
During the pandemic, along with many others who began working from home (as I had already been for the previous ten years), my husband and I perfected our fashion aesthetic, naming it ComfCore.™ On many days, I devolved further into FrumpCore,™ hoping not to be noticed by cat-callers while walking Ryder through New York City. This included some combination of baggy sweats, stained tees, and long puffer coats. (It works, though that may also be attributed to the hundred-pound German shepherd at my side.)
After in-person speaking gigs slowed to a crawl, downshifting from two each month to an handful each year (if lucky), it felt strange to dress up for them again. I was out of practice, like an alien or ghost impersonating my former self. For the first four pandemic years, most of the nicer clothes in my closet ceased to fit anyway, at least until I lost thirty pounds after putting my health first again last summer.
Now when I dress up for corporate settings, it’s as if I’m LARPing, gamer-speak for Live Action Role Play, “where a group of people wear costumes representing a character they create to participate in an agreed fantasy world.” Or, as Urban Dictionary puts the more colloquial use, “a LARPer is someone pretending to be something they’re really not.”3
I am really not a fancy person, despite fantasies I once held growing up that I would be someday. No one tells you how much work even basic adulting is, let alone Architectural Digesting.
Much to my ongoing chagrin, my home is hopelessly, perpetually cluttered; I spill on myself at least once a day; and I cannot be trusted with any variation of crème clothing. But this week, for two days, I would try.
