🚗 "The Crumbling," Part Three

NYT–bestselling author Luvvie Ajayi Jones' on rebuilding her business after near-bankruptcy: "You can't have two drivers to a car."

Catch up on part one and part two first.

As Leonard Cohen croons in his 1992 hit, “Anthem,”¹

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.

Business crucibles crack the foundation so completely that sometimes we must forgo the “perfect offering” (or anything close) as faith becomes the only way forward. We struggle to see through the dark; our old ways of seeing and working are no longer lighting the path forward.

That humbling crack now reveals the way, much as Marcus Aurelius wrote in book five of Meditations (published in 167 AD, later popularized by Ryan Holiday’s bestselling book, The Obstacle Is The Way). Here’s an excerpt—emphasis mine:²

“Things themselves touch not the soul, not in the least degree; nor have they admission to the soul, nor can they turn or move the soul: but the soul turns and moves itself alone, and whatever judgements it may think proper to make, such it makes for itself the things which present themselves to it.

In one respect man is the nearest thing to me, so far as I must do good to men and endure them. But so far as some men make themselves obstacles to my proper acts, man becomes to me one of the things which are indifferent, no less than the sun or wind or a wild beast. Now it is true that these may impede my action, but they are no impediments to my affects and disposition, which have the power of acting conditionally and changing: for the mind converts and changes every hindrance to its activity into an aid; and so that which is a hindrance is made a furtherance to an act; and that which is an obstacle on the road helps us on this road.

Reverence that which is best in the universe; and this is that which makes use of all things and directs all things.”

During Luvvie Ajayi Jones’³ toughest year of business in 2023, what she now calls “The Crumbling,” discovering an unpaid $23,000 bill led to her lowest moment; after firing her bookkeeper and finance team, it sent her uncharacteristically to bed for a week. She describes the feelings of mental and spiritual defeat:

“I was confused as to what was happening, but I still prayed. And that is honestly what got me out of bed. Even though I was like, God, what’s going on? I still prayed. I felt heavy. I was depressed. I was overwhelmed, burned out, but I also felt like I was being put on ‘divine time out,’ like my girl Debbie Brown would say.

. . . when you’re lost at sea, there isn’t a map for you to look at to get you back to shore. It was glaring to me that this was less about my efforts or brute force. What I needed to do was surrender to my limits, because where I might want to push my way through tough times, this was not letting me.

I was now being forced to surrender. I had to surrender to the moment, to the chaos, to the failures, the surprises, the disappointments, knowing that there’s a lesson that I need to watch out for. I had to surrender to God.”

Even in the depths of despair, Luvvie was clear on one thing, “There was no quitting. That was not an option.” I have been similarly stubborn.

Surrendering during her divine time-out, and streamlining her team allowed her to hear the whispers of what she was called to build next, a program called The Book Academy, facilitated by the clearing leading to carrying less overhead and complexity.

“What gave me gumption and confidence was that I was finally doing the work that I had felt called to do for years. Without that crazy team, without people that I had to chase, I was finally able to honor and execute it, which was wild, right? Like this thing that I went to do for a minute, I had a big team, couldn’t do it. And then I fired everybody and finally did it. It was God’s hands all over it. That allowed me to soar, that allowed this thing to soar. That is allowing it to soar now. And that has allowed my company to stand upright. It is what saved me. The Book Academy is what saved me.”

As Luvvie shared in a follow-up episode, “Surrender the Wheel,” mid-Crumbling, when people asked how she was doing, she answered, “I am coasting on God’s promises.” Laughing about it now with the gift of hindsight, she describes her failed attempt at control and what followed:

“The surrender moment looks like not always having the answers. So let’s just get back to what we know to be true, which is do what feels right and do your part in it. Release the rest of it and let God handle it because you can’t have two drivers to a car. You can’t. So I said, listen, I’mma let you drive the car.

. . . Why am I driving? What kind of car? Is this a stick shift? Cause I think I got the wrong manual. You know what happened last year? Somebody gave me a car I wasn’t supposed to drive. And I thought I could drive it and I drove it into the wall. I wrecked it.

So I said, you know what? I ain’t gonna wreck it. I’m going to hand over the keys to the divine driver. I’m gonna step back and I’m gonna let Him drive. And I’ll take a nap. Okay? I’m gonna catch up on sleep. I am going to take care of myself, eat some good snacks. And I think that’s my job in this moment.”

🚗⁴

1. 🎵 Read the full “Anthem” lyrics here. Another favorite verse:

You can add up the parts
You won’t have the sum
You can strike up the march
There is no drum
Every heart
Every heart to love will come
But like a refugee

2. Check out my 2016 podcast conversation with Ryan Holiday on his book Ego is the Enemy:

You might also enjoy his podcast, The Daily Stoic:

3. 🔗 All the links: Luvvie’s divine assignment includes an unmistakable voice (blogging since 2003!), a community that adores her, and a suite of four New York Times–bestselling books.

• Subscribe to the LuvvLetter

• Join her Patreon community

• Follow on Instagram @luvvie

• Learn more about her Book Academy

• Listen to her podcast, Professional Troublemaker

4. 👉 If you enjoyed this post, you might appreciate this Doh podcast episode playlist and:

Asking for a Sign . . . Part One

🚓 Ghost Car

🤲 The Truth About How I Run My Business