“Why aren’t you enlightened yet?” (W.A.Y.E.Y.) snaps the most vocal member of my Inner Critic Committee (ICC), an extension of my long-time Personal Development Police (PDP). “In the awakening of the heart there is no such thing as enlightened retirement. That is not how it happens to us.
I so appreciate your humility, it is a wonderful antidote to the arrogance that can flow from moments of enlightenment. I've experienced that so many times myself - a sudden feeling of clarity that my ego all too eagerly equates with closure. And then a new version of the same issue circles back again and I get the chance to rediscover the virtues of modesty.
For what it's worth - to me, Doh doesn't reveal a secret struggle, it reveals the beauty of an expanding emotional awareness. Love you!
"For what it's worth - to me, Doh doesn't reveal a secret struggle, it reveals the beauty of an expanding emotional awareness." Ooh, what beautiful words and such a helpful observation, thank you Patrick!!
You were on my mind earlier today, as I saw your post and thought about what delight and humor you bring — the picture of the cute bear carrying all those things was so sweet and funny, and so you!
Those moments of enlightenment are a gift, and integrating them into the nitty-gritty of adulting (and late-stage capitalism) is quite a journey in itself :D So true about the spiral of circling back on the same issues in order to see them from new angles — then (trying to) blend that spiritual knowing with everyday practical living (while hopefully having a sense of humor about it all).
I can't tell you how much your friendship means to me, the example you set as you move through the world, and your reflections here. What a GIFT!! 🙏🙏🙏
Thank your keeping me so generously in your thoughts (and your feed)!!! I am finding so much joy in seeing myself (and everyone around me) as giant cartoon animals, it makes everything so much more fun and playful.
And I'm so grateful that the world has delivered us a way to very literally see things that way (thank you, ChatGPT!). Maybe I'll turn late-stage capitalism into a hot pink poodle chasing its own tail?
SO glad to know you and be here with you! And please keep writing from the heart, it makes it easier for all of us to do the same ❤️
Your friend Julie is 100% correct: "Doh is not about being negative,” she said, “It’s about normalizing the struggle that most people hide." Wow. The world would be a better place if we spent more time normalizing our struggles. Rather than pretending we have it all together and belittling others that they don't have it together. (when none of us do--<eye-roll>)
Thank you so much Nancy! I soooo agree. Have you ever seen this video? I found it mentioned in Susan Cain's book bittersweet — totally made me cry, and a reminder of how much we are *all* carrying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8
Your real, not always positive words helped inspire me to send a more vulnerable than usual newsletter out yesterday. Not sugarcoating, not pretending everything is perfect is what we need right now because things obviously aren’t amazing and I think it’s disingenuous to pretend they are!
Thank you Jessie, and YAY!!! I love knowing it gave you a little extra courage to share a newsletter that was more vulnerable than usual . . . how was the response? How did you feel after sending?
This arrived just in time. —after my husband abruptly ended our meditation session last night because I reached out to pet the cat. I have lived in monasteries (it's where I met my husband), and as I'm sure you've gleaned from Jack Kornfield's book, the grass isn't a cloud on either side of the robe.
I take a lot of solace in the understanding that being deeply present doesn't mean being deeply perfect, whatever that means to my inner critic. I can look mine square in the eyes and say, I see you...and yes, I'm totally going to pet Princess Petunia anyway 🐈⬛.
@Christine, how fascinating that you met your husband in an actual monastery! I love how you put it, "the grass isn't a cloud on either side of the robe." 😆
Princess Petunia! Some would say they are the true angels, anyway . . . animals are so much more present than we are, with such sweet unconditional love. Petting her seems totally present and perfect to me, despite the "imperfection" of "messing up" the meditation. I so appreciate you sharing that here . . . what *perfect* timing, and grateful we all get to benefit :D
P.S. If anything, we should all be petting our pets so much more than we do! Those are the moments and memories of connection that are utterly priceless ❤️
Oh yes. I am never more present than when I am with our cat. She exudes a sense of quiet elegance that I don't want to disturb with my own mental chit-chat. Okay...except maybe when she jumps on the altar to drink from the Buddha's water bowl— then she's just being naughty and all bets are off 😏.
I loved the deep honesty of your post. I spent years practicing in hopes of attaining 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦, if you will. And in some ways I've found it, in all its messiness.
But as you've so eloquently put it, "Unwavering happiness-positivity-spiritual-bypassing doesn’t feel like reality to me." Besides, I look terrible in lavender🧚🏽♀️.
As I reflect on this, I think I cringe more when I look back at posts where I acted like I knew everything.
When I look back at posts where I was raw and honest, where I fully revealed myself as best I could in that moment, despite being at an earlier stage in my journey, I notice I feel a lot of pride and love.
The realness of your posts are what make them so easy for me to connect with. I love your friends’ perspective. You’re sharing the stuff everyone else hides. I like to think I’m doing the same.
Proud of us.
P.S. my enlightened self wears all loose, cream colored linens too.
"My enlightened self wears all loose, cream-colored linens too." 🤣🤣🤣 This cracked me up!! Glad I'm not the only one 😭
What a great point that the *truly* cringe-worthy posts from our earliest days were the ones where we acted like we knew it all, and that the raw and honest ones spark more retrospective pride (for me too, actually, now that you say it). I'm with you that true connection and seeing/being seen happens in the imperfection . . . the rest might be teaching or explaining, but it isn't what I'm seeking here.
I'm so dang grateful to be on these writing/sharing "journeys" together - thank you for being in my extended group of 3 to 5!! Would love to catch up soon :)
Groups of 3-5 would honestly be ideal. I’m putting my thinking cap on rn! 👒🤔
My inner critic stops me from posting 99% of the time. If I could let that go I’d have 100x the posts. 😳
My inner critic wears vegan leather jackets - of all colors.
Honestly, I tried to deliberately make ugly paintings as a way to allow myself to ship; I had always called them studies but at some point even that name didn’t cut it to post. “This isn’t fjnal” made it feel like I was sharing my sloppy seconds; and with the bar going higher and higher as my critic become more and more sophisticated, I got completely paralyzed and self-cancelled my work out of existence. Mind you, I’ve been professionally painting for more than 20 years, did 12 years of studies and held a brush at 3. Talk about a high bar! 😕😔
"With the bar going higher and higher as my critic become more and more sophisticated" - isn't that the truth?!
It's like the more we read, learn, and observe culture (past and present), the more sophisticated and discerning the critic gets, thereby creating a growing gap (if we let it) between the bar and the real, imperfect, honest work we're *able* to put out now.
It reminds me about Ira Glass' comments on the gap between taste and talent. The only way to traverse it is through . . . by hitting publish, KNOWING we will fall short of the ideal, but doing it anyway and allowing others to connect with us through the real. Thank you for reading and commenting!! You put such brilliant words to the feeling . . .
I so appreciate your humility, it is a wonderful antidote to the arrogance that can flow from moments of enlightenment. I've experienced that so many times myself - a sudden feeling of clarity that my ego all too eagerly equates with closure. And then a new version of the same issue circles back again and I get the chance to rediscover the virtues of modesty.
For what it's worth - to me, Doh doesn't reveal a secret struggle, it reveals the beauty of an expanding emotional awareness. Love you!
"For what it's worth - to me, Doh doesn't reveal a secret struggle, it reveals the beauty of an expanding emotional awareness." Ooh, what beautiful words and such a helpful observation, thank you Patrick!!
You were on my mind earlier today, as I saw your post and thought about what delight and humor you bring — the picture of the cute bear carrying all those things was so sweet and funny, and so you!
Those moments of enlightenment are a gift, and integrating them into the nitty-gritty of adulting (and late-stage capitalism) is quite a journey in itself :D So true about the spiral of circling back on the same issues in order to see them from new angles — then (trying to) blend that spiritual knowing with everyday practical living (while hopefully having a sense of humor about it all).
I can't tell you how much your friendship means to me, the example you set as you move through the world, and your reflections here. What a GIFT!! 🙏🙏🙏
Thank your keeping me so generously in your thoughts (and your feed)!!! I am finding so much joy in seeing myself (and everyone around me) as giant cartoon animals, it makes everything so much more fun and playful.
And I'm so grateful that the world has delivered us a way to very literally see things that way (thank you, ChatGPT!). Maybe I'll turn late-stage capitalism into a hot pink poodle chasing its own tail?
SO glad to know you and be here with you! And please keep writing from the heart, it makes it easier for all of us to do the same ❤️
Your friend Julie is 100% correct: "Doh is not about being negative,” she said, “It’s about normalizing the struggle that most people hide." Wow. The world would be a better place if we spent more time normalizing our struggles. Rather than pretending we have it all together and belittling others that they don't have it together. (when none of us do--<eye-roll>)
Thank you so much Nancy! I soooo agree. Have you ever seen this video? I found it mentioned in Susan Cain's book bittersweet — totally made me cry, and a reminder of how much we are *all* carrying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8
WOW. I am over here weeping. That was so well done. Thank you so much for sharing.
Your real, not always positive words helped inspire me to send a more vulnerable than usual newsletter out yesterday. Not sugarcoating, not pretending everything is perfect is what we need right now because things obviously aren’t amazing and I think it’s disingenuous to pretend they are!
Thank you Jessie, and YAY!!! I love knowing it gave you a little extra courage to share a newsletter that was more vulnerable than usual . . . how was the response? How did you feel after sending?
This arrived just in time. —after my husband abruptly ended our meditation session last night because I reached out to pet the cat. I have lived in monasteries (it's where I met my husband), and as I'm sure you've gleaned from Jack Kornfield's book, the grass isn't a cloud on either side of the robe.
I take a lot of solace in the understanding that being deeply present doesn't mean being deeply perfect, whatever that means to my inner critic. I can look mine square in the eyes and say, I see you...and yes, I'm totally going to pet Princess Petunia anyway 🐈⬛.
@Christine, how fascinating that you met your husband in an actual monastery! I love how you put it, "the grass isn't a cloud on either side of the robe." 😆
Princess Petunia! Some would say they are the true angels, anyway . . . animals are so much more present than we are, with such sweet unconditional love. Petting her seems totally present and perfect to me, despite the "imperfection" of "messing up" the meditation. I so appreciate you sharing that here . . . what *perfect* timing, and grateful we all get to benefit :D
P.S. If anything, we should all be petting our pets so much more than we do! Those are the moments and memories of connection that are utterly priceless ❤️
Oh yes. I am never more present than when I am with our cat. She exudes a sense of quiet elegance that I don't want to disturb with my own mental chit-chat. Okay...except maybe when she jumps on the altar to drink from the Buddha's water bowl— then she's just being naughty and all bets are off 😏.
I loved the deep honesty of your post. I spent years practicing in hopes of attaining 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦, if you will. And in some ways I've found it, in all its messiness.
But as you've so eloquently put it, "Unwavering happiness-positivity-spiritual-bypassing doesn’t feel like reality to me." Besides, I look terrible in lavender🧚🏽♀️.
Highly relatable.
As I reflect on this, I think I cringe more when I look back at posts where I acted like I knew everything.
When I look back at posts where I was raw and honest, where I fully revealed myself as best I could in that moment, despite being at an earlier stage in my journey, I notice I feel a lot of pride and love.
The realness of your posts are what make them so easy for me to connect with. I love your friends’ perspective. You’re sharing the stuff everyone else hides. I like to think I’m doing the same.
Proud of us.
P.S. my enlightened self wears all loose, cream colored linens too.
"My enlightened self wears all loose, cream-colored linens too." 🤣🤣🤣 This cracked me up!! Glad I'm not the only one 😭
What a great point that the *truly* cringe-worthy posts from our earliest days were the ones where we acted like we knew it all, and that the raw and honest ones spark more retrospective pride (for me too, actually, now that you say it). I'm with you that true connection and seeing/being seen happens in the imperfection . . . the rest might be teaching or explaining, but it isn't what I'm seeking here.
I'm so dang grateful to be on these writing/sharing "journeys" together - thank you for being in my extended group of 3 to 5!! Would love to catch up soon :)
Groups of 3-5 would honestly be ideal. I’m putting my thinking cap on rn! 👒🤔
My inner critic stops me from posting 99% of the time. If I could let that go I’d have 100x the posts. 😳
My inner critic wears vegan leather jackets - of all colors.
Honestly, I tried to deliberately make ugly paintings as a way to allow myself to ship; I had always called them studies but at some point even that name didn’t cut it to post. “This isn’t fjnal” made it feel like I was sharing my sloppy seconds; and with the bar going higher and higher as my critic become more and more sophisticated, I got completely paralyzed and self-cancelled my work out of existence. Mind you, I’ve been professionally painting for more than 20 years, did 12 years of studies and held a brush at 3. Talk about a high bar! 😕😔
"With the bar going higher and higher as my critic become more and more sophisticated" - isn't that the truth?!
It's like the more we read, learn, and observe culture (past and present), the more sophisticated and discerning the critic gets, thereby creating a growing gap (if we let it) between the bar and the real, imperfect, honest work we're *able* to put out now.
It reminds me about Ira Glass' comments on the gap between taste and talent. The only way to traverse it is through . . . by hitting publish, KNOWING we will fall short of the ideal, but doing it anyway and allowing others to connect with us through the real. Thank you for reading and commenting!! You put such brilliant words to the feeling . . .