Excerpted from my favorite Phillip Lopate essay, "Against Joie de Vivre." // "What is traded at the dinner-party table is, of course, class information. You will learn whether you are in the avant-garde or rear guard of your social class, or, preferably, right in step."
Oh Philip..What analysis! Please decline all future invitations to dinner. Obviously you feel still the 'solitudinous outsider.' Not all such gatherings are so shallow as you have implied.
Not all are concerned with media driven conversation..Yes, as foodies all, we discuss and cuss various dishes. But with tolerance. And pleasure. and discuss our mutual efforts. How's that for inclusivity?
Re: the break up. I am usually first to the bathroom! We have a few, and as overeating causes digestive mobility, most guests take advantage at some point. And I find six to be an ideal number of guests, mainly due to the amount of food that must be prepared! The higher velocity of verbal give and take in the smaller group seasons the meal as well.
Perhaps you would be better served to only join activities consisting of other isolated social
critics and outliers similar to yourselves. Then you would all have something in common, to
discuss that has actual meaning to you.
I know it is difficult to have an emotional investment in conversation with relative strangers.
Especially in respect to subjects you care nothing about or have disdain for.
I have that same difficulty myself, as another outlier. I am not mainstream, and certainly not an academic such as yourself. My interest universe is much smaller than some other persons.
I find discussions of the small success and failures we admit to...and the grit and reality, and common truths of everyday life, much more interesting than any less substantive conversations.
Perhaps there are others like yourself that you could make a closer connection to, or perhaps you could put on a dinner yourself, with guests you hand selected for commonality of interests..
Oh Philip..What analysis! Please decline all future invitations to dinner. Obviously you feel still the 'solitudinous outsider.' Not all such gatherings are so shallow as you have implied.
Not all are concerned with media driven conversation..Yes, as foodies all, we discuss and cuss various dishes. But with tolerance. And pleasure. and discuss our mutual efforts. How's that for inclusivity?
Re: the break up. I am usually first to the bathroom! We have a few, and as overeating causes digestive mobility, most guests take advantage at some point. And I find six to be an ideal number of guests, mainly due to the amount of food that must be prepared! The higher velocity of verbal give and take in the smaller group seasons the meal as well.
Perhaps you would be better served to only join activities consisting of other isolated social
critics and outliers similar to yourselves. Then you would all have something in common, to
discuss that has actual meaning to you.
I know it is difficult to have an emotional investment in conversation with relative strangers.
Especially in respect to subjects you care nothing about or have disdain for.
I have that same difficulty myself, as another outlier. I am not mainstream, and certainly not an academic such as yourself. My interest universe is much smaller than some other persons.
I find discussions of the small success and failures we admit to...and the grit and reality, and common truths of everyday life, much more interesting than any less substantive conversations.
Perhaps there are others like yourself that you could make a closer connection to, or perhaps you could put on a dinner yourself, with guests you hand selected for commonality of interests..
I wish you every success..
Phil
Phillip Lopate's 81st birthday celebrated on Substack! https://bestamericanessays.substack.com/p/happy-birthday-phillip-lopate
Oooh, that's so awesome!! I hadn't caught that — thanks so much for sharing the link! Wishing you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving today :D