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Sorry Mr. Lopate, about your 'solitudinous' up bringing. My folks put on dinner parties frequently when I was a child. I was a participant, in a way, but as I did not cook, was obliged to interact with the guests. We such luminaries as Pete Seeger, Lee Marvin , and other Hollywood types in our small modest home. Mom made huge trays of lasagna for some parties, and dad made quarts of martinis. By the end of dinner, there was not much food on the plates, but some seconds of mom's gourmet cooking was on the guests. I laughed at the drunken antics. After dinner, desert. which was usually pecan pies and Ice cream, they would go into the living room (just a space adjacent to the table) and play outrageous charades. By that time I was ready for bed, as I had been allowed to drink the horrible retsina turpentine flavored wine with dinner. But I still love the smell of turpentine for some reason....hmmm Reminds of dinner and some the painters we had over.

I like entertain, when I can. I'm not a bad chef, unlike my sister, who learned from ur gourmet chef mother and is a real go-to-hell gourmet cook. I do like good food, and especially meat dishes.

So once in awhile I like to put on a Grand Feed for friends (who generally all know and like each other). Arrogantly, the meal is prepared by me as a great performance of my cooking ability, with no effort spared in detail, preparation or presentation. Julia Child helps me! My greatest pleasure is seeing my friends go back for seconds and thirds (we're all gourmands) and eat to satisfaction.

It is a way for me to show my love for these people I call my current family

Some of the epic feeds I have put on have been legendary for decades..this is love reflected back to me. And we all still laugh about the times we've had.

I am NOT a chef. I am a mechanical restoration craftsman, who spends his time working with dirty hands and hot metal, but I love and can reward my friends with good food.

Phillip Lopate. Sorry you never felt included or loved in any celebrations. I lost my parents young, but had a taste of inclusiveness that I can still savor in my old age.

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