Our monthly(ish) community prompt | “Time is short, my strength is limited, the office is a horror, the apartment is noisy, and if a pleasant, straightforward life is not possible, then one must try to wriggle through by subtle maneuvers.” —Franz Kafka
What a great question. If I were to reference my journals over the past year and a half (the time I've been self-employed, starting TWO businesses from scratch), I ping-pong from faith and doubt. They don't co-mingle. But in the end, I lean on faith more than I have doubts, and I can also pinpoint that my doubt creeps in when I have to do admin-y things, like taxes and P&L. It's looking at the black and white figures that brings doubt into the forefront, even if I know I've got some runway in savings. The black and white figures do not tell the whole story, and so I allow myself moments of doubt (that probably also creates energy to spur me forward), and quickly work to return to faith by looking at the positive leading signals that things are moving in the right direction. In the end, P&L is a lagging indicator and CANNOT tell the whole story!
Jules — soooo true what you said about "ping-pong[ing] between faith and doubt. They don't co-mingle." That is so interesting! It's almost like when we're in doubt, we're momentarily forgetting the faith BUT I believe doubt is so instructive too — without it, we'd be far less considered and just bulldozing ahead.
Fascinating to notice *when* the doubt creeps in too, ie during admin-y things. So true!! Dealing with legal contracts and/or taxes often give me the burn-it-all-down feeling so I never have to do them again 😭😭😭😭
And your last line! "P&L is a lagging indicator and CANNOT tell the whole story!" 💯! My brother just reminded me that the other day . . . just look at today and ahead; don't worry so much about what didn't work or what's in the past. I used to be better at that - but five years in the doh'y trenches has bruised me up a bit!
I'm the worst for this, and lead purely by faith, hope, rose coloured glasses.
Case in point: I'm hosting a retreat that I've been marketing for about 6 months now. Looks like I'm probably not going to make profit on it, will maybe actually lose money and registrations close next week.
The whole time I've been in this bubble of, 'the right person will grab their spot'. Maybe it's overconfidence bias? The truth is, for 80% of the time, being hopeful is actually a really great approach and has served me well.
But now, I've had to turn my attention to actually doing outreach *shudder* (I never do it). If I was led more by doubt, I'd probably be more driven by the data...but eh, will I change? Probably not.
I always love hearing your take, Leanne!! And I *love* your rose-colored glasses; that sparkle and out-of-this-world enthusiasm is contagious and one of my absolute favorite things about you!!
Events are so. damn. hard. I love your mindset that the right person will grab their spot, and I really do believe that even the smallest events that don't fill to capacity fill to where they are meant to be. I can't wait to hear what you learn from the whole thing once you're on the other side :D
(Yay for pushing yourself to do the outreach that makes you shudder, too — hopefully there's a joyful-ish angle on it some way, some how!)
What a treat to find myself here in the footnotes! xoxo
What a great question. If I were to reference my journals over the past year and a half (the time I've been self-employed, starting TWO businesses from scratch), I ping-pong from faith and doubt. They don't co-mingle. But in the end, I lean on faith more than I have doubts, and I can also pinpoint that my doubt creeps in when I have to do admin-y things, like taxes and P&L. It's looking at the black and white figures that brings doubt into the forefront, even if I know I've got some runway in savings. The black and white figures do not tell the whole story, and so I allow myself moments of doubt (that probably also creates energy to spur me forward), and quickly work to return to faith by looking at the positive leading signals that things are moving in the right direction. In the end, P&L is a lagging indicator and CANNOT tell the whole story!
Jules — soooo true what you said about "ping-pong[ing] between faith and doubt. They don't co-mingle." That is so interesting! It's almost like when we're in doubt, we're momentarily forgetting the faith BUT I believe doubt is so instructive too — without it, we'd be far less considered and just bulldozing ahead.
Fascinating to notice *when* the doubt creeps in too, ie during admin-y things. So true!! Dealing with legal contracts and/or taxes often give me the burn-it-all-down feeling so I never have to do them again 😭😭😭😭
And your last line! "P&L is a lagging indicator and CANNOT tell the whole story!" 💯! My brother just reminded me that the other day . . . just look at today and ahead; don't worry so much about what didn't work or what's in the past. I used to be better at that - but five years in the doh'y trenches has bruised me up a bit!
I'm the worst for this, and lead purely by faith, hope, rose coloured glasses.
Case in point: I'm hosting a retreat that I've been marketing for about 6 months now. Looks like I'm probably not going to make profit on it, will maybe actually lose money and registrations close next week.
The whole time I've been in this bubble of, 'the right person will grab their spot'. Maybe it's overconfidence bias? The truth is, for 80% of the time, being hopeful is actually a really great approach and has served me well.
But now, I've had to turn my attention to actually doing outreach *shudder* (I never do it). If I was led more by doubt, I'd probably be more driven by the data...but eh, will I change? Probably not.
I always love hearing your take, Leanne!! And I *love* your rose-colored glasses; that sparkle and out-of-this-world enthusiasm is contagious and one of my absolute favorite things about you!!
Events are so. damn. hard. I love your mindset that the right person will grab their spot, and I really do believe that even the smallest events that don't fill to capacity fill to where they are meant to be. I can't wait to hear what you learn from the whole thing once you're on the other side :D
(Yay for pushing yourself to do the outreach that makes you shudder, too — hopefully there's a joyful-ish angle on it some way, some how!)
Not necessarily "literary figures," but interesting writers, alive or dead: Barry Holstun Lopez, Wendell Berry, Harriet Doerr.
Ooh, what a fascinating dinner crew! I can picture you all now, out at a beautiful table in the garden at sunset with tea lights :D