I love your friend Petra’s reminder! Such a good one. And this, exactly:
“The whole point of this Substack is to say the quiet parts out loud so that none of us feel quite as alone, dissolving the shame that sometimes accompanies struggle and liminal spaces.”
If only I could tell you how inspiring, empowering, and kind your words have been to me in the last five years or so. All the Mannies out there are free to buy a book and don’t like it, just as much as they’re welcome to move on. There’s so many folks out there who cheer you on and are interested in hearing what you’ve gotta say. Let them Mannies be *and* let yourself do you 🧡
2. The Devin R response -- so fascinating! Especially since he sells this merch. “Stay snug and spread love, ideal for everyday wear.”
3. I’m going to go read the Emily piece now -- thanks for sharing.
In my case the 1 star reviews (real or metaphorical) never really get easier per se (I think I’ve always been a sensitive person at my core, even since I’ve been very young) but they have almost always taught me something about what I have said yes and no to, or how I arrived at that point. This past year, the couple of non-constructive and non-actionable negative reviews/comments I received came from a specific commitment that I shouldn’t have ever actually committed to -- which was a powerful reminder!
Thanks for sharing -- great post and related links!! ❤️
Agree with bells ringing that your friend Petra is a wise, excellent friend!! Such a good reminder for all of us writers trying to strike those fineline balances between practicality, readabililty, inspiration, humor, depth, originality, memorableness (is that a word?), common sense, and oooomph! I often remind myself that Anne McCaffrey's first novel was rejected something like 125 times! I also remember, at a writer's talk in San Francisco, Patricia Cornwell shared how she'd written THREE novels (which I think she tossed) while she was working at the ME's office in Richmond, VA and also working for the police. She said writing in the morgue and keeping positive was "challenging". . . ;-)
It gives me faith about just keeping on. Heck! I've been heckled at my own bookstore talks! And I think those cleverly scathing 1-star reviews are really more about the "Mannys" blowing their own ego-horn! Our voices are needed; there are people at all levels ready to absorb and digest the insights of every writer, and many readers who loyally move through your growth process with you, because it's their process too, and you're speaking their language.
I’ve had a note with this Petra Kolber quote hanging over my desk since you mentioned it on Free Time years ago. Keeps me going! 💖
I also love your framing that negative reviews point out things you already recognized and chose to move past. I feel like this can apply to so much criticism we face across our lives!
I love your friend Petra’s reminder! Such a good one. And this, exactly:
“The whole point of this Substack is to say the quiet parts out loud so that none of us feel quite as alone, dissolving the shame that sometimes accompanies struggle and liminal spaces.”
If only I could tell you how inspiring, empowering, and kind your words have been to me in the last five years or so. All the Mannies out there are free to buy a book and don’t like it, just as much as they’re welcome to move on. There’s so many folks out there who cheer you on and are interested in hearing what you’ve gotta say. Let them Mannies be *and* let yourself do you 🧡
1. Oh my goodness, really Manny!? #dislike.
2. The Devin R response -- so fascinating! Especially since he sells this merch. “Stay snug and spread love, ideal for everyday wear.”
3. I’m going to go read the Emily piece now -- thanks for sharing.
In my case the 1 star reviews (real or metaphorical) never really get easier per se (I think I’ve always been a sensitive person at my core, even since I’ve been very young) but they have almost always taught me something about what I have said yes and no to, or how I arrived at that point. This past year, the couple of non-constructive and non-actionable negative reviews/comments I received came from a specific commitment that I shouldn’t have ever actually committed to -- which was a powerful reminder!
Thanks for sharing -- great post and related links!! ❤️
"The world needs your imperfect voice more than your perfect silence." Thanks for this. Practicing.
Agree with bells ringing that your friend Petra is a wise, excellent friend!! Such a good reminder for all of us writers trying to strike those fineline balances between practicality, readabililty, inspiration, humor, depth, originality, memorableness (is that a word?), common sense, and oooomph! I often remind myself that Anne McCaffrey's first novel was rejected something like 125 times! I also remember, at a writer's talk in San Francisco, Patricia Cornwell shared how she'd written THREE novels (which I think she tossed) while she was working at the ME's office in Richmond, VA and also working for the police. She said writing in the morgue and keeping positive was "challenging". . . ;-)
It gives me faith about just keeping on. Heck! I've been heckled at my own bookstore talks! And I think those cleverly scathing 1-star reviews are really more about the "Mannys" blowing their own ego-horn! Our voices are needed; there are people at all levels ready to absorb and digest the insights of every writer, and many readers who loyally move through your growth process with you, because it's their process too, and you're speaking their language.
I’ve had a note with this Petra Kolber quote hanging over my desk since you mentioned it on Free Time years ago. Keeps me going! 💖
I also love your framing that negative reviews point out things you already recognized and chose to move past. I feel like this can apply to so much criticism we face across our lives!