Fearing the Other Shoe, Part Two

On foreboding joy: I’m afraid to tell you I had a good day.

✍️ Thursday, July 10, 2023

I’m afraid to tell you I had a good day.

I’m afraid to tell myself.

As soon as I say those same words to Michael while puttering in the kitchen, “What a great day!” a surge of dread washes over me.

I practically flinch physically, as if shielding myself from the other shoe threatening to fall from the sky. There have been too many good days in a row. Something must be about to go terribly wrong, the way it has seemed to for the last few years.

Could I really be this happy again?

I haven’t felt this fulfilled and free since The Before Times.

In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown calls this foreboding joy.

In a Super Soul Sunday conversation—that could also play as an SNL parody of themselves—a beaming Oprah introduces Brené as a soulmate (!) followed by Brené’s observation about why we find joy so challenging:¹