Thank God for our “awareness of our character faults and failings.” Pretending they don’t exist is deception of the worst kind - of the self. It’s hard enough to improve our weaknesses even with compassion and awareness. ‘Fake it til you make it’ may seem like self-deception but it is completely different because we do it with intention and awareness of our faults and failings.
Self-help mix ins on a memoir may be understandable from the publisher wanting to juice the earning potential of a work, but reveals a lack of faith in the reader’s understanding of the story the memoir tells. Let the story stand by itself.
Beautifully said, John! I agree—we’re losing something precious if we require even memoir/essay to be neatly packaged like that…who would be so perfect they’re qualified? Not many…I love and am so grateful to those who openly share the mess, and of course what they’ve learned from it, while still leaving much open to the reader to draw conclusions from.
I also love what you said about self-deception being the worst kind; it strikes me that that’s the work of a lifetime, continuing to sift through one’s experiences to uncover what’s still hiding in the shadows, so it can be healed in the light. Thank you for always bringing that kind and compassionate energy here ❤️
A new memoir that has also been getting buzz (NYT, morning shows, Glennon Doyle, etc) is Jen Hatmaker’s Awake. She specifically and intentionally does not do more than tell her story, from her perspective. She trusts the reader to get her, or not. She trusts them to trust themselves and I think it is so powerful! (I read it in one sitting to the detriment of my day’s to do list and it was a good decision)
Hi Jessie!! Yes, I’ve just started listening to hers and the podcast tour (though it kills me that she never seems to use a professional mic, even for her own show, so the sound quality is always terrible). I love what you shared re: her thoughts on trusting the reader to get her or not, and trust themselves — so good! I wonder if her publisher purposefully waited two weeks yet kept the launch close to LG to “draft” behind the fallout/criticism *and* the midlife memoir momentum :)
Haha, which part? And I hear you! Especially if one isn’t already inclined toward that person or subject matter, it can be extra cloying. Also: thank you for commenting on the podcast post! Can’t wait for the Pathless episode playlist—send the link over if you create one :) But only if it’s packed with super self-helpful takeaways 😉
the takeaways at the end of the book - i dont read books to acquire checklists - i read to enjoy myself, ponder, and sink myself into the ideas of the writer. I think self-help has become way too oriented around the idea of what a publisher *thinks* is the average reader - so the genre has become a sort of human slop
Soooo well said!!! Especially the *idea* of the reader . . . LOL on your take that the whole genre has turned to slop! I’ve been feeling that for a while too, which is also why I cannot tolerate LinkedIn 😭 Can’t wait to check out the playlist, thank you for linking above!
Thank God for our “awareness of our character faults and failings.” Pretending they don’t exist is deception of the worst kind - of the self. It’s hard enough to improve our weaknesses even with compassion and awareness. ‘Fake it til you make it’ may seem like self-deception but it is completely different because we do it with intention and awareness of our faults and failings.
Self-help mix ins on a memoir may be understandable from the publisher wanting to juice the earning potential of a work, but reveals a lack of faith in the reader’s understanding of the story the memoir tells. Let the story stand by itself.
Beautifully said, John! I agree—we’re losing something precious if we require even memoir/essay to be neatly packaged like that…who would be so perfect they’re qualified? Not many…I love and am so grateful to those who openly share the mess, and of course what they’ve learned from it, while still leaving much open to the reader to draw conclusions from.
I also love what you said about self-deception being the worst kind; it strikes me that that’s the work of a lifetime, continuing to sift through one’s experiences to uncover what’s still hiding in the shadows, so it can be healed in the light. Thank you for always bringing that kind and compassionate energy here ❤️
A new memoir that has also been getting buzz (NYT, morning shows, Glennon Doyle, etc) is Jen Hatmaker’s Awake. She specifically and intentionally does not do more than tell her story, from her perspective. She trusts the reader to get her, or not. She trusts them to trust themselves and I think it is so powerful! (I read it in one sitting to the detriment of my day’s to do list and it was a good decision)
Hi Jessie!! Yes, I’ve just started listening to hers and the podcast tour (though it kills me that she never seems to use a professional mic, even for her own show, so the sound quality is always terrible). I love what you shared re: her thoughts on trusting the reader to get her or not, and trust themselves — so good! I wonder if her publisher purposefully waited two weeks yet kept the launch close to LG to “draft” behind the fallout/criticism *and* the midlife memoir momentum :)
Yeah this is just peak self help takeaway. They are annoying to the average reader I think.
Haha, which part? And I hear you! Especially if one isn’t already inclined toward that person or subject matter, it can be extra cloying. Also: thank you for commenting on the podcast post! Can’t wait for the Pathless episode playlist—send the link over if you create one :) But only if it’s packed with super self-helpful takeaways 😉
the takeaways at the end of the book - i dont read books to acquire checklists - i read to enjoy myself, ponder, and sink myself into the ideas of the writer. I think self-help has become way too oriented around the idea of what a publisher *thinks* is the average reader - so the genre has become a sort of human slop
Soooo well said!!! Especially the *idea* of the reader . . . LOL on your take that the whole genre has turned to slop! I’ve been feeling that for a while too, which is also why I cannot tolerate LinkedIn 😭 Can’t wait to check out the playlist, thank you for linking above!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZsqyUyVhayF5xq043yzgf?si=VWm9dNCVQA2A12TSpX94WQ&pi=KVrXMge8TaO8t